IMPORTANT HOUSE HOLD TIPS

Subject: Household Tips – Ladies vs Real Women

1) Leftover Wine:

Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women – Leftover wine?? Hello!!

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2) Cure for Headaches:

Ladies – Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.

You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!

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3) Dripping Ice cream cones:

Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

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4) Sprouting potatoes:

Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don’t have to worry about the potatoes

growing arms and legs.

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5) Baking cakes:

Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.

Real Women – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate the son of a b**** for you.

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6) Opening jars:

Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women – Go ask the very HOT guy who lives next door to do it.

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And finally the most important tip….

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail……. but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn… that was fun!!”