Archive for the ‘General’ Category


A Woman’s Poem

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe.

Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight…
Like his mother used to

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A Woman’s Poem

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe.

Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight…
Like his mother used to

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Something IDIOT

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to
come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after
“So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:
“An ID ten T error?
What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?”
The computer guy grinned….
“Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
“Write it down,” he said, ” and I think you’ll figure it out.” So I wrote
out …… I D 1 0 T

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To
which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? ” He
smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

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Polish Remover

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American
girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and
asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Polish Man: “Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Polish Man: “It made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “I don’t think you understand. Does either of you
have a real grudge?”
Polish Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.”
Lawyer: “I mean. What are your relations like?”
Polish Man: “All my relations still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Polish Man: “We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD
Lawyer: “Does your wife beat you up?”
Polish Man: “No, I always up before her.”
Lawyer: “Is your wife a nagger?”
Polish Man: “No, she white.”
Lawyer: “Why do you want this divorce?”
Polish Man: “She is going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Polish Man: “I got proof.”
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Polish Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at
drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it
say: ‘Polish Remover’.”

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Massa massa si aayi maut

ik hor hii adchan pe gayi

oh kal milan da vaada kar gayi

saanu ummer vdhaani pe gayi

Baah fadke rok lende,je chalda koi zor hunda

assi tere piche kyoN rulde,,je tere jeha koi hor hunda

asi ucchya de naal laai yaari , sada bhunje (Thalle) lagda pair nai,

asi ese chaa vich udd de firde haa, per sajjna de kol sade lai time nai,

shadd ve dila koi gall nai, sajjna de lai tu ki gall jhall sakda enna dukh v nai!!!!!!!!!!!

Ji karda ae ,ajj baat koi paun nu

te apne dil dian sunon nu,,

Ji karda ae , lambi udari ik laun nu

Neele ambra’n te aalna banon nu

ke bahut chir kajj leya pairan nu …

Ji karda ae,chana’n nal akhan chundeaun nu,

te var var palkan jhapkaun nu,

ke bahut chir akhan moondi seh lea hanere nu …..

Ji karda ae, baagi ho jaan nu ,

kise navi manjil vall chale paun nu

ke bahut chir kaid rakh leya es rooh nu …

Ji karda ae , geet koi gun-gunon nu

koi mithi dhun sunon nu

ke bahut chir alap leya birho de raag nu

Ji karda ae, vapas part jan nu ,

mud vatna vall fera paun nu

ke bahut chir gah leya pardes nu

Ji tan karda Ae tenu bhull jan nu

kadi na teri rah vich aaon nu

eh dil chandra kio keh reha

Kera’n TENU gal nal laun nu??

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A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. After one week, a test was held.The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher’s desk. “This is the worst test I have ever given.” The teacher looked up and said: “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?” The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said: “You tell me…”

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Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye…
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye….

Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main…phir Rikshaa kar lenge..

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge..

Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara
abbbbe oyeee phir kya hua
Bakri ne bhi bakre Ko seeng maar diya

Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)

Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye.
Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye.
Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye.

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita

Aaj! aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain….

aasman mein char tare
aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

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It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle, Million soldiers 2 protect a country, but just One woman 2 make a Happy Home! Let’s Thank… KAAM WALI BAI

 Boy: I’m not rich like Rahul, I don’t even have a big car like Rahul, but I really Luv U! Girl: I luv u too, but tell me more about Rahul.

 Angry boss: Tumne kabhi Ullu dekha hai? Executive (sar jhukate hue): Nahin sir. Boss: Niche kya dekh rahe ho ? Meri taraf dekho.

Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge? A: Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal

Ek yug tha jab log apne ghar ke dwar pe likhte the: ATITHI DEVO BHAVA Phir likha: SHUBH LABH Phir likhne lage: U R WELCOME Aur ab likhte hain: KUTTON SE SAVDHAN

 Khuda kare tujhe khushiyan hazaar mile, mujhse bhi achche yaar mile, meri galfriend tujhe raakhi baandhe aur tujhe ek aur behan ka pyar mile It takes 15 trees to produce the amount of paper that we use to write one exam. Join us in promoting the noble cause of saving trees. SAY NO TO EXAMS

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya . 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola: Kahan jana hai? Sadhu: Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha. TT: Ticket hai? Sadhu: Nahin TT: Chalo Sadhu: Kahan? TT: Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Apna Sapna Hasi Hasi (Aur Ladke hase to fase… Hahaha……….  🙂

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
( Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. )

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied , “in-laws”

Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
The wife replied “see…do you get what I mean?”

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

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This is really very very cute…..do read this … Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it “yesterday once more”. They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and questioned: “Why didn’t you come to our date?”

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly: “Mom didn’t allow me to go…” : ) ……

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