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IMPORTANT HOUSE HOLD TIPS

Subject: Household Tips – Ladies vs Real Women

1) Leftover Wine:

Ladies – Don’t throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women – Leftover wine?? Hello!!

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2) Cure for Headaches:

Ladies – Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women – Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink.

You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!

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3) Dripping Ice cream cones:

Ladies – Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women – Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete’s sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.

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4) Sprouting potatoes:

Ladies – To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women – Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don’t have to worry about the potatoes

growing arms and legs.

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5) Baking cakes:

Ladies – When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won’t be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.

Real Women – Go to the bakery – they’ll even decorate the son of a b**** for you.

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6) Opening jars:

Ladies – If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women – Go ask the very HOT guy who lives next door to do it.

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And finally the most important tip….

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail……. but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn… that was fun!!”

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MATRIMONIAL ADVERTISEMENTS

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com. These are actual ads on a matrimony site. Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!

Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail…

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– Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male, If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart… when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter..

Thanks

yours Regards Sowmya ~*~

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i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework

(Wut Homework?)

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I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on …….. hold my hand forever !!!

(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

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i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me and love me lot lot lot (I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)

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i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast

(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell…)

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HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY ,THEY ARE

1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.

2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION

3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY

TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.

(all of us are loughing{laughing})

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whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp

(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

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i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love the patner ok thik h ai the patner has a graduate ok

(I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)

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iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married

(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)

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my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes

(height of desperation! )

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iam kanandevi. i do owo businas.one sistar. he was marred.

(No comments)

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hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily . i divorced my first husband. hischaractor is not good’. i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted …

(but credit cards not accepted..???)

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Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.

(Zebra..???)

Hi,

This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry, I have plenty of money.

Source:- To each Its Own

Ok, seeing the amount of people requesting to know who is showing the matches in various countries, here is the breakdown.

Canada

ATN is showing it on their new channel ATN CRICKET PLUS. You can get the complete Cricket World Cup 2007 package (including all Group Stage Matches, Super Eight Series, Semi Finals and Final match) on ATN Cricket Plus channel for $179.99 only. This channel is available through Bell ExpressVu or Rogers Digital Cable.

US

For us Dishnetwork as well as Direct TV are showing it. Dishnetwork is offering the complete coverage of world cup for $199.95 which includes restricted broadband access as well.

DirecTV is also offering the same package i.e. all the games for $199.99.

India

In India, the private sports channel SetMax, in collaboration with Nimbus Communications, has signed an agreement with public broadcaster Prasar Bharti (Doordarshan) to provide live feed of the cricket World Cup matches. So this means both SetMax and Doordarshan are going to show the matches in India.

Online/Broadband

You can view all the matches online anywhere in world by subscribing to WillowTv’s package again for $199.99.

LIFE ……………

The Echo of Life

A man and his son were walking in the forest. Suddenly the boy trips and feeling a sharp pain he screams, “Ahhhh!”

Surprised, he hears a voice coming from the mountain, “Ahhhh!” Filled with curiosity, he screams: “Who are you?”, but the only answer he receives is: “Who are you?” This makes him angry, so he screams: “You are a coward!”, and the voice answers: “You are a coward!”

He looks at his father, asking, “Dad, what is going on?” “Son,” the man replies, “Pay attention!” Then he screams, “I admire you!” The voice answers: “I admire you!” The father shouts, “You are wonderful!”, and the voice answers: “You are wonderful!” Then the father explains, “People call this’ECHO’, but truly it is ‘LIFE’!

Life always gives you back what you give out. Life is a mirror of your actions.

If you want more love, give more love!

If you want more kindness, give more kindness!

If you want understanding and respect, give understanding and respect!

If you want people to be patient and respectful to you, give patience and respect!

This rule of nature applies to every aspect of our lives.”

Life always gives you back what you give out.

Your life is not a coincidence, but a mirror of your own doings.

TIP OF THE WEEK

To live a happy life …………..]

3 things are essential :

# Keep BRAIN as ICE factory.
# Keep TONGUE as SUGAR factory.
# and HEART as WAX factory.]
🙂

ALL WOMEN WOULD LOVE THIS

A Woman’s Poem

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe.

Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight…
Like his mother used to