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ALL WOMEN WOULD LOVE THIS

A Woman’s Poem

He didn’t like the curry
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard…
Not like his mother used to make.

I didn’t prepare the coffee right
He didn’t like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.

I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn’t there anything I could do
To match his mothers shoe.

Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight…
Like his mother used to

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Something IDIOT

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to
come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave
me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after
him,
“So, what was wrong?”
He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired:
“An ID ten T error?
What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?”
The computer guy grinned….
“Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
“Write it down,” he said, ” and I think you’ll figure it out.” So I wrote
out …… I D 1 0 T

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” To
which I replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? ” He
smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we ask.”

Polish Remover

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American
girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and
asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Lawyer: “Have you any grounds?”
Polish Man: “Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.”
Lawyer: “No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?”
Polish Man: “It made of concrete.”
Lawyer: “I don’t think you understand. Does either of you
have a real grudge?”
Polish Man: “No, we have carport, and not need one.”
Lawyer: “I mean. What are your relations like?”
Polish Man: “All my relations still in Poland.”
Lawyer: “Is there any infidelity in your marriage?”
Polish Man: “We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD
player.”
Lawyer: “Does your wife beat you up?”
Polish Man: “No, I always up before her.”
Lawyer: “Is your wife a nagger?”
Polish Man: “No, she white.”
Lawyer: “Why do you want this divorce?”
Polish Man: “She is going to kill me.”
Lawyer: “What makes you think that?”
Polish Man: “I got proof.”
Lawyer: “What kind of proof?”
Polish Man: “She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at
drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it
say: ‘Polish Remover’.”

DARD BHRI SHAYERI

Massa massa si aayi maut

ik hor hii adchan pe gayi

oh kal milan da vaada kar gayi

saanu ummer vdhaani pe gayi

Baah fadke rok lende,je chalda koi zor hunda

assi tere piche kyoN rulde,,je tere jeha koi hor hunda

asi ucchya de naal laai yaari , sada bhunje (Thalle) lagda pair nai,

asi ese chaa vich udd de firde haa, per sajjna de kol sade lai time nai,

shadd ve dila koi gall nai, sajjna de lai tu ki gall jhall sakda enna dukh v nai!!!!!!!!!!!

Ji karda ae ,ajj baat koi paun nu

te apne dil dian sunon nu,,

Ji karda ae , lambi udari ik laun nu

Neele ambra’n te aalna banon nu

ke bahut chir kajj leya pairan nu …

Ji karda ae,chana’n nal akhan chundeaun nu,

te var var palkan jhapkaun nu,

ke bahut chir akhan moondi seh lea hanere nu …..

Ji karda ae, baagi ho jaan nu ,

kise navi manjil vall chale paun nu

ke bahut chir kaid rakh leya es rooh nu …

Ji karda ae , geet koi gun-gunon nu

koi mithi dhun sunon nu

ke bahut chir alap leya birho de raag nu

Ji karda ae, vapas part jan nu ,

mud vatna vall fera paun nu

ke bahut chir gah leya pardes nu

Ji tan karda Ae tenu bhull jan nu

kadi na teri rah vich aaon nu

eh dil chandra kio keh reha

Kera’n TENU gal nal laun nu??

In life when you get troubles, don’t get nervous. Just close your eyes and follow your heart ;becoz heart may be in left but it is always right.

DIFFICULT TEST

A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and the only one available was wildlife Zoology. After one week, a test was held.The professor passed out a sheet of paper divided into four squares. In each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird’s legs. No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the birds from their legs. The student sat and stared at the test getting angrier every minute. Finally he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on the teacher’s desk. “This is the worst test I have ever given.” The teacher looked up and said: “Young man, you have flunked the test. What’s your name?” The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said: “You tell me…”

FUNNY SHAYERI

Dil ke arman ansuo me beh gaye,
Hum gali me the gali me reh gaye…
Light chali gayi,
Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unki mummy se keh gaye….

Zindagi ki raah mushkil hain to kiya huaa.
Thoda sa tum chalo,thoda sa main…phir Rikshaa kar lenge..

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge..
Agar wo aa jayegi mere jindgi me,
To Reliance ki kasam DELHI me bhi Tajmahal bana denge..

Bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara, bakre ne bakri ko seeng maara
abbbbe oyeee phir kya hua
Bakri ne bhi bakre Ko seeng maar diya

Tu ne mere man se khela,
Tu ne mere tan se khela,
Tu ne mere dil se khela,
Tu ne mere Dhan se khela,
Tu ne mere man, tan, dil aur dhan se khela,
…..
Well Played, Well Played (Wah, Wah..)

Wo hamari zindagi main kuchh is tarah se aaye.
Wo hamari zindagi main kuch is tarah se aaye.
Jaise hare bhare khet main Bhais ghus jaye.

Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Maine tumse pyar kiya, tere baap ne muzhe pita
Tan ki shakti, manki shakti, Bournvita

Aaj! aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain….
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

aasman mein char tare
aasman mein char tare
do tumhare do hamare

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya